We Don't Just Excel, We Axel

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. Background:  The Tammasaurus and I had been working together for about 3 months now and I'd been having some troubles over the preceding few weeks. Things aren't always peachy in the skating world (as in life)! ------------------------- "Can we stop a sec?" I wheezed in the middle of another intense lesson with the Tammasaurus. "Sure," she waited for me to catch my breath. "I think I'm okay now," I said after a few seconds. "Okay, let's try for some nice big 3 jumps." I took two strokes to get going. "Nope, no good, I feel sick. Can we get off the rink for a second?" Lessons with the Tammasaurus were always vigorous, no doubt about it, and I liked it that way. They were very productive and counted as some actual exercise in my otherwise slothlike existence, but for the last few weeks I ...

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. ------------------------- "So you see, it's more like this," the Tammasaurus proceeded to execute the step sequence that she'd been trying to teach me. When I say "step sequence" then I don't want you to imagine a complex intertwining of wondrous and challenging skating finesse, so I'll confess it was just alternating mohawks with crossovers we were doing as an exercise. As usual though, I was utterly incapable of stringing them together - coordination has never been my strong point. My mohawks were scrappy and bad most of the time, we'd been using them as the entry for my consecutive backward edge practise and I always imagined the Tammasaurus cringing as I scraped my way through the mohawk entry. Now she was expecting me to do the mohawk nicely and add a crossover on the end, which shouldn't even be that complicated...

I did a counselling course once where my tutor had to teach the fundamentals of three different theoretical models of counselling therapy: psychodynamic (mostly Freud), person-centred (mostly Carl Rogers) and cognitive behavioural therapy (known as CBT). My tutor hated CBT, he absolutely loathed it, it made him shake up with rage when he was forced to talk about it and he would rant about it at any opportunity. The mohawk turn is my CBT. I hate them. They're a nasty, horrible move designed to remind adults how inappropriate their ageing bodies are in the youth-centric sport of figure skating. If there was any move that made me wish I was an eight year old girl then it's the mohawk. Unfortunately my next HP post relies on me having a reference point for people that don't know what mohawks are so they can read up on them. So here I am, writing a reference post on my hated enemy, the mohawk turn. So what is this nonsense? The mohawk's actually devilishly simple in t...

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. ------------------------- "Have we started the Salchow yet?" the Tammasaurus asked towards the end of my latest lesson. "Not yet, no," I replied. I tried to sound nonchalant, but inside I was jumping up and down, the Salchow! My first of the six standard rotation jumps! This was one of the skating moments I'd been waiting for since I started! Off ice, I had secretly done some preparatory reading on the Salchow to prepare me for the magical day when we started it. A lot of descriptions talked about doing an outside 3 turn then holding the resulting backwards inside edge on the skating leg while doing a scooping motion with the free leg to twirl you round as you jumped off the ice. I had tried giving it a go off ice with no idea of what it was meant to look or feel like and it seemed both insane and fiddly, but this didn't diminish my...

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. Background: I now had new skates and they were off to the rink for their first outing. ------------------------- "I'm now officially a run-of-the-mill, bog standard figure skater," I called across the ice to the Tammasaurus, who was finishing up a lesson with one of her advanced skaters. "I even have a Coronation Ace," I added. This second part was entirely because I didn't want the fact that I'd spent time researching to go unnoticed now that I'd chosen the absolute classic of free skating blades. This tactic is also known as, "BE PROUD OF ME, TAMMASAURUS! BE PROUD!" "Ooooh let's see your skates!" the Tammasaurus excitedly skated over to visit me at the barrier. Honestly, I don't really get the whole excitement around looking at new skates, I mean, I like it when people pay my new skates attent...

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. Background:  Part 4 of my ongoing quest to find new skates. ------------------------- At last, my trip to Nottingham had been fruitful and I had a pair of skates on the way ! Giddy with excitement, I went nuts and splurged on accessories. I ordered some Chloe Noel husky soakers (you are never too old for animal soakers, seriously, see below on this) and also some Rockerz skate guards in purple and blue (I know they're expensive but I'd already spent so much on the skates and blades I figured why not go all out?) Pretty hard to resist. Side note - Those soakers are one of the best purchases I've ever made, firstly because they look so much fun and secondly because everyone at the rink is insanely jealous of them;  own this look I tell you! Own your child-marketed, ice skating paraphernalia and it will reward you tenfold in envious glances...

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. Background:  Part 3 of my ongoing quest to find new skates. Following on from my last post , I was in the middle of planning a trip up to Nottingham when I had another lesson with the Tammasaurus and she threw a spanner in the works: ------------------------- "Have you looked at getting those Edea Chorus' yet?" "Oh, the Chorus? Uhh, I'm working on it, I have a trip planned." The Chorus? That was the boot level above what she'd previously prescribed and that I'd been considering so far (the Overture). Maybe she'd just got confused with the names? I went back to Edea's website and looked up the Chorus, which are for double jumps and I definitely wasn't at that point yet. But, the greed demon inside of me looked at the shiny 4 gold stars on the boot (for non-skaters: men get printed on stars, women get little atta...

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. Background:  Part 2 of my ongoing quest to find new skates. ------------------------- I once wrote a post, not so long ago in fact, about my first mission to buy new skates . Past Me resolved at that moment in time that the issue of properly researching how to buy skates would be tackled by Future Me. After all, Past Me assumed that Future Me would know much more about this sport and would just be generally better at everything in life ever. Unfortunately, Future Me was now Present Me, a mere six months ahead of Past Me, and Present Me was absolutely no better off than before. I took to the internet to begin my search and started with all the classic internet search terms "buying new ice skates, buying advice, how to choose ice skates, what brand should I use" and was soon swamped with a mash up of articles, forum posts and informational sites that al...

Usual disclaimer applies: this is an old event I'm recounting. See  my first HP post  for the full notes on these. Background: I was a lesson or two into my time with the Tammasaurus when she ambushed me during my warm up exercises... ------------------------- "What boot and blade have you got on?" I winced slightly knowing that my Graf 500 boots were just beginner level, which, while technically passable for the level I was at, would really need an upgrade to continue. I'd only got them about six months ago and had fully expected I'd have to upgrade in about a year or so, but I hadn't expected to progress this fast. I didn't know how much further I had left in them, but I knew I'd have to do some damage management with my response here as the Tammasaurus trains all the young, elite skaters and I didn't want to get a disapproving look. "Urr, they're Graf 500s. The blade just came with the boot, I think it's just a standard Gr...